Shards of the Mirror
by RuneNeko
Summary: Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.  Berthold Auerbach. A series of songshots. Vayne/Vaan. Balthier/Vaan. Dub-con. Character death.


Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Final Fantasy series. I do not own anything at all but the words on this page and even that is debatable.

_Blue, blue caravan…_

_Winding down to the valley of lights…_

Light brown eyes looked down upon the lights of Rabanastre in the still hours between dusk and dawn. The sky was clear and riddled with countless little lights that brought him comfort from his perch. He flicked his eyes up and absently picked out the familiar constellations, Old Dalan's voice a mere sound in the back of his mind. He could not remember the stories. It was a miracle that he could remember the old man's name in the first place. Everything from his previous life has somehow… drifted away. Faded. A mere dream of a life he was starting to think never existed and merely a fantasy his mind conjured.

A high voice inquisitively interrupted the low drone in his mind, but the sounds were blurred, indistinct. He didn't bother to focus on it. He didn't want to lose the sound. The sound of a life that he would give anything to live again. If he focused on the sound, then it, too, would drift away and he would have nothing.

_My true love is a man_

_Who would hold me for ten thousand nights…_

Well, maybe that wasn't entirely true.

Recently, a man has begun to visit him. He doesn't know how the man gets in, or who the man is, or how the man manages to get out. However… the man seems familiar. Achingly familiar. Every time the man opens his mouth to grace him with another story from his many adventures, the brown eyed boy gets flashes of instance in his head, images so agonizingly familiar and comforting that he clings to them with all his worth. Though, no matter how hard he clutches, they still slip like sand through his fingers and drift back into the nothingness when the man leaves.

Every time the man visits, the brown eyed boy tries to ask his name; but all he would receive was garbled sounds in the back of his mind. He tries to understand. He tries so hard but all he gets is a massive spike of pain stabbing into the back of his head and he is forced to stop. Forced to remain wondering…

_In the wild, wild, wailing of wind_

_Is a house 'neath a soft yellow moon._

The brown eyed boy smiled softly, blank eyes slowly drifting back down to Rabanastre. The man will visit soon, bringing a little light into his dark world; the dark, lonely void his life has become. A stray lock of blond hair fell into his eyes and he pushed it aside, tucking it behind his decorated ear. His silk sleeves shifted with the movement, but he ignored it, it was nothing new. Everything was always the same. Silk clothes; finery fit for the greatest of kings donned his body but he was used to it. He has worn it for as long as he could remember. He could not imagine anything less. This… is what someone in his position wore, though he did not know if he was the only one in his position.

Besides the man, it was hard to imagine anyone other than…

"Vaan…"

_So blue, blue caravan,_

_Won't you carry me down to him soon..._

The blond boy didn't move, but his body did react. He could feel his blood pumping through his veins, his cheeks growing a bit warm and his groin awakening. It always happened. He couldn't remember if it ever affected him. It seemed to him that it had always been this way. His body reacting to a single word, a single sound from…

A fleeting finger on his cheek that drew along his jaw to his chin and bringing his head to turn to the owner. Lips covered his, and the blond instinctively, without thought –don't think, never think, don't focus- opened his mouth for a questing tongue that left fire in its wake. Hands easily removed the thin silk from his body and slid languidly up and down the softening planes of his chest. Finally, the boy's lips were released and he gasped in sweet air as the other's tongue trailed up his throat, biting down on the lump. Vaan mewled, fists gripping the older man's shoulders tightly.

_Blue, blue caravan_

_Won't you drive away all of these tears…_

The blond was suddenly lifted and thrown onto his bed, the other man's body instantly covering his and settling between his milky thighs. As his mouth was plundered again, Vaan opened his eyes and stared blankly the man staring down at them.

"Ha-!" He suddenly gasped as a hand wrapped around his arousal. "Mast-!"

As his master took his mouth again, the blond stared at the man standing beside the bed, staring at them with a blank expression on his face. Vaan's heart ached, oh how it ached… a tear dripped down the side of his face, unnoticed, disappearing into his hair as if it were never there.

_For my true love is a man_

_That I haven't seen in years._

As his master worked his body, like the chords of a loot, the blond stared into the other man's eyes. They stared back, but they offered no comfort. They were as blank as Vaan's mind, windows to a void that the brown eyed boy desperately wanted to get away from. As his body lost itself in the carnal pleasures of sin, the void in Vaan's mind opened, and the sounds of a memory resonated through his very being.

_He said, "Go where you have to_

_For I belong to you, until my dying day."_

_A low chuckle. A soft, carefree sigh._

_The gentle, low hum all around._

_Soft smacks of lips upon lips, connecting and drawing back, connecting and drawing back. Another soft sigh and a low moan._

_Deep breaths._

"_Tomorrow…"_

"_Yeah."_

_Silence._

"… _I-"_

"_Hm?"_

"_..."_

_A sigh._

"… _It… it's nothing. Let's get some sleep."_

_So like a fool, blue caravan_

_I believed him, and I walked away._

"_Vaan-!"_

_Chaos._

"_VAAN!"_

_Oh my blue, blue caravan_

_The highway is my great wall_

"Ngh… ha! Oh! Oh! Master! Harder!" He gasped out absently, moaning loud and long as the brunet man above him pounded into him over and over. This dance… doesn't require thought, anymore. It just… happens. What his master does to his body… stopped mattering. He can't remember when it stopped. He can't remember anything. Only the sounds of a life, long past continue to haunt him. Tormenting him of a life… that he would give anything to glimpse once more. "Ahhh! Hah!"

The only thing different about this dance is the man, so familiar, so hauntingly familiar, staring down at him with blank, expressionless, void like eyes. Vaan's body dances with the master, while his own light brown eyes stare blankly back. Those eyes… they swallow him. He cannot look away, even as his arms snake around master's broad shoulders and his lower body rocks viciously, the coil in his groin growing too tight to keep.

"B-!" Before the sound even has a chance to form, master plunders his mouth as he stabs his length in as deep as possible and relinquishes control. Vaan's own body does not release. It wants to, so badly that his cock twitches abruptly, but his master has not given the command and so it will not.

Master collapses for a moment, catching his breath, before rocking back onto his knees and pulls out uncaringly. Vaan doesn't even feel the pain anymore. The blond boy merely sits up and positions himself on his hands and knees, his face even with master's groin and white hot fluid leaking down his thighs. He flexes his lower muscles to force as much as the stuff out as he can, to please his master, because he knows his master likes to see his own sign of possession. Then, he cleans his master thoroughly.

All the while, the man is watching, and Vaan feels no embarrassment, no shame. Because this… is all Vaan knows.

Master gives him one more rough kiss before standing. Master smirks down at him and Vaan lays back down, showing his master what he wants to see. Master nods with another smirk before departing. Vaan's eyes widen and his entire being freezes.

_For my true love is a man_

_Who never existed at all._

The man's eyes are boring into Vaan's when he explodes into uncountable pieces as master passes right through him. The blonde watches as the sand like wraith writhes on itself before falling apart and drifting out into the cool Rabanastren air, disappearing like it had never been there.

_Oh he was a beautiful fiction_

_I invented to keep out the cold_

Vaan never saw the man again. As his mind spiralled into darkness and his eyes lost their lustre, he eventually began to forget who he was. Even the sounds that brought him comfort faded away into the void and all he was left with was the silence. He tried to recall, tried to remember even as master worshipped him every night. But his unseeing eyes stared out at nothing as his body was ravished over and over again. His world became that room, and his God became Master.

_But now, my blue, blue caravan_

_I can feel my heart growing cold._

Blank brown eyes stared up at the little lights in the black velvet sky, no expression donned his face. The wind caressed his face gently, phantom sensations that long ago lost their meaning. Standing on that windowsill, he thought of nothing. He's never thought of anything. There isn't anything to think about.

But, as the wind picked up and mischievous fingers tugged at his clothes, a single tear tracked down his left cheek.

He… was forgotten.

_Oh my blue, blue caravan…_

Closing his eyes, he liberated himself from the darkness and knew no more.

… _I can feel my heart growing cold…_

Yeah, don't know what brought this on. I'm pretty sure that my additions to these will be of a much lighter note. Again, I apologize for my older fics. I'm sure you've heard this many, many times before, but I am stuck. If you think you can help me, feel free to pm me. Techno Fox just does not want to end itself. It's agonizing.


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